Many years ago I lost a good friend. We had many good moments together. Times of laughter, times of sharing, times of working together, times of playing, times of deep meaningful conversation - all were good keys of friendship. Connections are everywhere: cell phones, the internet, Twitter, Facebook and texting to name but a few. You name it and we are connected to it. But what about more than a cyber-connection or a cold, faceless hyperlink on the internet? Friendships are hard to come by these days in a multi-tasking, fast paced world. So, how should you find friendship and, more importantly, how do you sustain a friendship once it starts?One of the key points to remember when making real friends is being real. An authentic person can sustain a relationship whether it is a friendly, work or romantic relationship. People that pretend to be someone they are not will eventually turn into their real selves and you will probably lose interest. You have to be able to recognize authenticity in others, as well. Some important values I have in keeping friendships are:
1. Loyality - staying with people through all their seasons and stuff in life
2. Honesty - don't lie. Be transparent
3. Define the rules of relationship. Don't assume or bring expectations.
4. Mutuality - everyone is equal. everyone is respected. everyone has a voice.
5. shut up and listen. Their words are more important than yours.
6. Its about them not you.
7. Love at all times.
8. fight about the subject. never fight about the fight.
9. accept disagreement
10. accept diversity.
11. Be real. Be yourself. Be authentic.
12. Go where you're celebrated... not where your tolerated.
13. Make privacy a component of self-sharing.
14. Don't talk about your friend behind their back.
15. Don't dig for dirt - except in yourself.
16. Don't be a member of the temple police force. Pay attention to your own sin.
17. Forgive. reconcile.
Relationship takes time, it takes self sharing, it is covenantal, and life giving.
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