Rewrite Your Story!

Anyone who has ever taken the time to write knows very well that writing a book, a thesis, or a news article requires not only a first draft, but it also requires a rewrite several times long before it is even passed onto an editor.  Writing is a lot of work.  Sharing a perspective, writing out facts from a proper perspective, documenting your facts, researching your subject matter takes time, thoughfulness, and inspiration.  

When I was a freshman in college, I had to take a course on writing and composition.  My professor was an older lady who loved english and grammer.  I hated grammer, found writing difficult and was not a fan of doing full blown research writing.  One day she said in class, "you know, God maybe calling some of you to be writers one day."  I thought not me.  There is no way I'm going to spend my life writing I'm just going to preach the Gospel.  But, along the way in my studies in Theology, biblical research, church history and the like I found it necessary to write a book that striculated my theological beliefs.  As a result, I wrote a book before I was 22 years old entitled, "Foundation For Restoration" which was later edited by Carla Bruce from Phoenix, Arizona and published by Revival Press in Bedford, Texas c1984.  My close high school friend, Rick Carter, (current pastor of CFC Dallas, Texas) and my personal secretary Nancy Eckdahl spent countless hours assisting me reading, rewriting, and checking out the scriptures to ensure that the book was accurate and would give it's readers a good presentation of my views of the restoration of a New Testament Church.  I've got to tell you it was a gruelling experience. Nancy, Carla, and I spent 40 hours a week, over a 9 month period,  pouring over the manuscript just to get the language, grammer, and theological perspectives clear. Rewrites are very necessary to ensure that a book is as clear and understandable for your readers to enjoy.  I can tell you that here I am 40 years later and there is little I find myself disagreeing with or that which has changed my perspective since the publishing of the book.  I am very proud of that book and always look forward to having my early writings examined 40 years later by those who know me, my life and teaching as a minister of the Gospel.  It's a great book.

However, the focus of this article is not necessarily on the art of writing or publishing.  In this article I would like to take another look at the subject of how God rewrites our personal stories.  Most of us come from dysfunctional families who have left deep woundedness in our souls that might need to be re-examined, framed differently, and rewritten in our own minds.  I was raised by my mother, who divorced my father when I was a year and half years old.  My mother was a lasped christian and married my who father who was an atheist.  My father was a highly decorated career military man who volunteered and served in both the Korean conflict and Vietnam War.  He often told me, you find very few Christians in fox holes.  My parents were only married for 5 years when one night they came together to discuss the terms of their divorce.  That was the night I was concieved.  For years after my birth, I found myself having to navigate between to families (The Berry and Dunfee families), having to remain neutural about their views of each other.  The Berry's always disapproved of my mother's life, decisions, and handling my upbringing.  The Dunfee family made it very clear that they didn't like my father.  In fact, my grandmother dunfee told my mother that I was one grandchild she would never get close to because she disliked my father so much.  She later changed her view and loved me very much. I found having to navigate through my family's views very frustrating.  What it produced in me was the thought that "if I hadn't been born" these two (Mom and Dad) would not have had to remain connected throughout their lives and could have gone their separate ways never again having to fight over each other's movements and life decisions regarding my welfare.  So I viewed "my very existance" as it being my fault that they had to remain connected.  So if anything went wrong (in my perspective) it was my fault.  In fact, every thing that went wrong around me was my fault.  This is what I use to believe.  As a result it led to some very poor decisions in my teenage life and early adulthood.  I had poor self esteem, found that no matter how I tried to do all the right things I was always "at fault" for my family and relationship conflicts.  Wow!  Did this story need a rewrite.   The Scripture says:

If any man be in Christ

He is a new creation

Old things have passed away

All things become new

II Cor. 5:17

Between the day we recieve Christ and finding peace or wholeness within ourselves is a process called forgiveness.  In Ephesian 6:4, parents are commanded by the Lord to, "...not provoke your children to bitterness, but bring them up in the training and counsel of the Lord."  Bitterness is the result of all the unresolved conflicts experienced in our lives that were left unresolved by not talking through all these things, finding resolve and forgiveness.  So, you can be "Saved" or Born Again but have no peace within yourself because you have not forgiven your parents, your friends, your school mates, teachers or others in your life who offended and hurt you throughout your growing up years.  So  Salvation + forgiveness = peace.  No forgiveness... no peace. (See Matt 18:21ff)  These unresolved family relationships afftect all other relationships we have throughout life and often pass on the dysfunctionalionism.  Our family sins morph unless we allow God to incarnate himself into our perspectives and perceptions built in our childhood.  My grandfather, John Berry, who led me to Christ once said to me, "Mike, often those childhood hurts in our lives get blown out of proportion as we grow up. What was probably a small incident, as viewed from an adult perspective, gets blown out of proportion as we grow up because we have not forgiven those who hurt us." In fact, what I have learned over my 47 years of being a Christian is "Forgiveness is saying that you're more valuable to me than what you did."  If there is anyone who could speak as an expert in this matter it was my grandfather.  John Berry, who I loved dearly, was abandoned by his mother, Ida and placed in a children's orphanage after learning his father Obed was declared dead in World War I.  He had to learn forgiveness and found that forgiveness after recieving Christ as his Lord.  When we don't forgive others it only clouds our relationships, our decision making processes, or afford us the intimacy we could have with our heavenly father.

When we come to Christ God wants to rewrite the internal story you have written in your mind about your memories of hurt, unforgiveness, and woundedness.  He wants us to see that Old Things have really passed away.  If we our new creations in Christ then everything that is in our past need to be brought to the Cross Of Christ and put to death in the same place where Jesus took  all our sins and transgressions.  So I have come to see our salvation as a process of putting off the old nature... the old mindsets, the old woundedness, the unforgiveness, and offenses we all have through life that were built on the cracked foundations of our earliest memories. I am not responsible for what people did, do or don't do to me.  I am only responsible for my responses.  Our angers are nothing more than an emotion of a boundary crossed.  But it can also become a sinful action taken out against to retailate against those who I feel violated by. (See Eph. 4:26) Either way, Forgiveness is the only call of the Holy Spirit.  Remember Jesus said from the cross, "Father forgive them, for they don't know what their doing."  Most of the time, our parents only could do what they knew how to do in parenting us.  I'm sure most parents haven't taught their children "How" to forgive. We need to let people off the hook and allow God to rewrite our internal historical memories.  Anyone who has become a parent understands the importance of this... I have two wonderful daughters whose very existence calls me to be the best Dad I can be and requires me to ask them to forgive me for times when I wronged them.  The same holds true in marriage, friendship, and those we've hurt in our past.  Rewrites are necessary.

In fact, one night I heard the Holy Spirit prompt me to re-examine my view that had I not been born then things would be different for my parents and their families.  Knowing God, this story needed a rewrite and the Holy Spirit was about to become my co-writer and editor.  As I began to write down the story in my private journal about the night my parents came to discuss the terms of their divorce and the night I was concieved, I had a flood of scripture of scripture come to my mind.  Scriptures like:

Genesis 33: 5

And when Esau lifted up his eyes and saw the women and children, 

he said, “Who are these with you?” Jacob said, 

“The children whom God has graciously given your servant.”

Psalm 127:3

Children are an inheritance from the Lord.

    They are a reward from him.

Psalm 17:14

From men by your hand, O Lord, from men of the world whose portion is in this life. 

You fill their womb with treasure; they are satisfied with children, 

and they leave their abundance to their infants.

The scriptures teach that children are God's gift to their parents.  All of sudden I realized that God gifted my parents a child, ME, as a gift for their reconciliation with one another that night.  Then I realized, "it wasn't my fault" that my being concieved was the basis for them remaining together.  I was God's gift to them for their choice in forgiving each other and reconciliation.  I was a gift of reconciliation.  Then when the Holy Spirit pointed this out I realized that I love "reconciliation" and have spent my entire ministry years working principles of reconciliation. In fact, what I learned about myself is that I get very frustrated when I can't assist or work through things to reconcile them.  It's one of the most frustrating things I find in myself. I love reconciliation stories.  This is why I think we need to surrender our old interpretations of our life story and let God rewrite it.  He wants to make all things new.  Give the story his redemptive perspective.  Salvation is a family promise (Acts 16:11 "Believe on the the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved and your HOUSEHOLD)!

A few years ago, I had the wonderful gift of laying both my parents to rest.  I got to rewrite their story at the furnerals.  Both of them came to Christ and served the Lord in their last days. It's an awesome thing to know how both their lives were radically changed as a result of recieving Christ into their hearst. God rewrote their story,  He rewrote our family history, and is now rewriting our entire family history. As a result of their decision to follow Christ, their Christian testimony was expressed instead of their sinful past.  He promises to do the same for us if we let our salvation work in us to bring forgiveness in all our relationships so that we can find peace in yourself.  Rewriting our internal stories, beliefs, childhood memories and our intrepretation of those events are a necessary part of salvation - whether you had great parents or poor parenting. God has been at work in all of us since he planned for our coming into the world.  (See Palm 139:13-16)  Rewriting is very important!  Here's why it is so important: 

The writing process is never done--it is only finished when you need to hand something in or voluntarily discontinue working. If you were to pick up a piece of writing that you completed two years ago, you undoubtedly would see ways that you could improve it. Two years later, you could do the same thing. Because  perspectives on life and the world are always changing (even if we don't notice it), we will always look at our writing differently. We also learn more in the meantime, either about our writing or the topic that we are writing about, or just about ourselves. Nobody's writing is perfect. Nobody gets a piece "right" on the very first try, which is why writers go back many times and rework their writing so that it makes more sense, is clearer, and is more presentable to the reader.  My life is not over yet.  Every day that I wake up I find a new perspective.  The older I get the story gains fresh insights of God's redemptive work.  I'm grateful for God's incarnate work in my life and family story. He is a revisionist!  I love it and am grateful to be a writer today... especially for the on-going story within in the internal recesses of my heart.  It's amazing when you let God rewrite the story instead of letting the old story keep you entrapped by the past.

Maybe it's time to dust off that old story and rewrite it one more time