Going It Alone...

In 2010 my whole world changed.  It was disrupted by the death of my mother, my father, a major divorce of friends, and a life altering lawsuit against the organization I've worked so hard to build for the last 24 years.  There is a quote I've often heard, "I would rather try and fail than never having tried at all."  Well, I'm not sure that is true.  In fact whoever said that probably never "failed" at trying.  Another platitude that fails to speak to anyone who feels they are failing is. "It's not how you begin, it's how you finish."  Well I'm glad "finishing" well doesn't include that battle with cancer.  My mom never smoked a day in her life and died of small cell lung cancer.  My dad was sprayed with Agent Orange in Vietnam and died of the cancer from it... yet he was a highly decorated US soldier.  I guess my parents illness doesn't meet the "criteria" of finishing well.  I have also noticed that when you personally go through tragedy and loss a lot of people just go away, fall off, and even make up stories of why they can't hang with you through those rough moments in life.  Is anybody hearing me?  You need to be a friend when being a friend is not convenient for you.  I have stuck with many of my friends through the hard moments of their lives.  In the last few months, I've had long term friends (45 years and counting) going through major health challenges.  Each day, I have tried to call encourage them, pray for them, share wonderful memories with them, and try to make them laugh.  It's hard but its loving those whom God has given to you to love the best you know how.  It may not be up to everyone's expectations but the gift of being present, fully present, when there is no "major move of God" or "being in the spotlight of the crowd" and loving your friends when no one else is looking that God is really present.

This past week I faced the hardest moment I've had in life so far.  With me stood three men who I greatly want to thank.  My attorney, a business friend, and a former employee of the group who has scammed churches all across America stood with me for "righteousness."  Even though, I had these three great friends with me - I can't explain how "lonely" I have felt because I felt abandoned by those who I thought would stand with me.  There I said it!  Abandoned.  Is this what it felt like to Jesus to have Peter standing at a distance meaning to see the end of it all?  Too often, we think the "outcomes" should be some kind of miracle the way we would like it to be.  We celebrate those kind of outcomes because it fits with our American Consumerism Cultural expectations... right?  But when have we seen that "disruptions, betrayals, and even death may be true marks of success in God's eyes? Disruptions may be as much a miracle as walking on water was. Without disruptions we might find ourselves shipwrecked.  But in our Western ideologies the villains always lose and the good guys get the girl.  Really?  

I'm sure the middle eastern men who killed whole Christian families this past week in iraq feel justified and victorious while their leaders praise them for pleasing Allah. I guess the recent beheading of Christians and children cut in halves is failure in our eyes. Right?  Did you know that their are thousands of people throughout the world who never built big churches, filled stadiums, or became superstar pastors who died as a martyr because they would never deny Christ. They would rather be beheaded than to to convert to a false religion. The book of revelation speaks about the martyrs cries coming out from the gates of Heaven... yet by our own western ideologies these people failed.  Failed at what?  Failed whom?  I've had enough of these cheap shots false perspectives found in the western church world.  Haven't you heard that the foundation of the church rests on the martyr of the saints.  Peter was crucified upside down.  Legend has it that the Apostle Paul was beheaded.  So lets look at how St. Paul defined success? " I was beaten times without number, often in danger of death. Five times I received from the Jews 39 lashes. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked, a night and day I have spent in the deep. I have been on frequent journeys, in dangers from rivers, dangers from robbers, dangers from my countrymen, dangers from the Gentiles, dangers in the city, dangers in the wilderness, dangers on the sea, dangers among the false brethren; I have been in labour and hardship, through many sleepless nights, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure" (2Cor.11:24-27).  He didn't measure success by numbers, buildings and assets he had.  He talked about his suffering as an important mark of true apostleship.  I haven't heard one thing in the Western Church about success defined in terms of danger and false brethren.  I sometimes wish I had false brethren. It would be easier to take emotionally.

Most of the time, people are so consumed with their own worlds, they just forget you.  It's all about the selfie.  Let me see if I can say it any clearer.  People in our own culture are very well connected, wired, and carry whole communities around on their phone and other social media... but they are dying.  They are going it alone.  They just need a friend.  If you are rightly related to God - then giving and caring for others may require you to stop looking for the likes on Facebook, measuring how many hits to your social media pages, and lay down these obsolete means of communication and get back to real relationship building time - facetime - being fully present with one another in the good times and bad.  Guess you never failed yet?  your time will come.  The scriptures are still true "selfie"  Romans 3:23 ALL have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.  Romans 3:10 "There are NONE righteous no NOT one!