Love Doesn't Keep Track Of Wrongs!

Recently, I was thinking about I Corinthians 13's definition of LOVE and the words "Love doesn't keep track of wrongs" and began wondering why we all have a habit and love keeping a record of wrongs that others have done toward us. The Greek words in this passage literally means: “[Love] does not reckon the wrong/evil/bad thing [ou logizetai to kakon].” Commentators aren’t exactly sure what this phrase meant in first-century Greek, however. The phrase “to reckon evil(s)” does appear several times in the ancient Greek translation of the Old Testament. There it means “devise evil against,” as in Zechariah 8:17 says “And each one of you should not devise the evil thing in your hearts against your neighbor [ten kakian . . . me logizesthe].” If Paul is using language in the sense of the Greek Old Testament, as he often does, then 1 Corinthians 13:5 really means, “[Love] does not devise evil [against another person]. In other words, When Paul uses these words he's saying that when we've been offened, hurt, slandered, gossiped or lied about by others "Love" doesn't retailiate, strick back, become revengeful, or harbour resentment towards any offending party who I think may have hurt me. So his ordinary usage of this verb suggests that 1 Corinthians 13:5 means: “Love does not charge wrongdoing to the account of the perpetrator,” or “keeps no record of wrongs.” 

Another way of looking at the Greek construction of the phrase used in this passage for "Does Not keep Track of wrongs" rests on the word "logizomai." Logizomai is an accountant word which can be translated as ‘to keep a mathematical calculation’. It is used to refer to the accurate book keeping of an accountant. Paul is saying that agape-does not keep a record of all evil done to it. It never keeps record of other people’s offences. It always forgives and forgets Many of us keeps records of offences done to us. Some of these may be real offences or wrongs done to us. But some may be imagined offences. Never mind, it goes into that little black book in our head where we keep a record of all wrongs done to us. Why? So that someday we can get even. But that’s not agape-love. Agape-love tells us to tell these wrongs to God and commit it to His hands. It also tells us to forgive and to forget.

When God tells us that love keeps no record of wrongs, He means we do not go around with a list, writing down the faults of one another. Rather, we are to look for the positive things that happen in our relationships, and to affirm others. We are to seek reconciliation and forgiveness, never strife or dissention. We should not go around with a negative attitude, but rather with one that is positive, enthusiastic, and equipping to God's people. We are not to keep track of the mistreatments we may receive from friends or our spouse. Because God loves us so much, He does not keep a scorecard of our sins as long as we honestly repent of them. We do not need to reflect negatively or gossip about the flaws of other people in order to elevate ourselves. God refuses to do that to us. Love lets things such as resentment and anger go, so they do not build up and destroy us and our relationships.  

So when Paul was instructing the church at Corinth, he was defining what a Christian's conduct should be into relating toward others.

Love doesn't keep track of wrongs

Love is not easily angered

Love does not think about itself

Love does not dishonor others

These attributes are the evidences of our faith in Christ. I JOHN 4:8 states that "Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love."  So if we are harbouring resentment, not working toward reconciliation, and seeking wholeness in our attitudes and working toward "forgiveness" the bible is clear that we do not know God.  Matt 16:15-35 is very clear on how we as "followers of Jesus" are to resolve our conflicts.  In fact, Paul writes in Galatians 6:1-2 that if we think we are spiritual that as "Brothers and sisters, if a person gets trapped by wrongdoing, those of you who are spiritual should help that person turn away from that wrong doing and to do it in a gentle way."  He goes on to explain to us, "At the same time we are to watch ourselves so that we are not tempted.  Help carry each other's burdens. In this you will follow Christ.  In Galatians 5:20 Paul states that those who choose to continue to live by their sinful habits of "selfishness, angry outbursts, CONFLICTS, and DIVISIONS- WILL NOT INHERIT THE KINGDOM OF GOD.  In my years growing up in the Jesus People movement we use to sing a song that said "They will know we are Christians by our love, by our love, by our love... yes they will know we are Christians by our love." LOVE DOESN'T KEEP TRACK OF WRONGS!

SO, LET'S FINISH with why someone would want to keep a record of wrongs committed against them.  As we try to weigh the meaning of 1 Corinthians 13:5 in its historical context, we don’t know exactly what situation Paul was addressing. It may well be that some members of the Corinthian community were “adding up the wrongs” of others, largely to show that they themselves were better Christians than those with long lists of sins. It may be that Paul’s concern was a lack of genuine forgiveness on the part of some Corinthians, and “keeping a record of wrongs” means “not forgiving.”  I Cor. 13:5 In the New International Versions says "Love does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."  Record keeping of wrongs within the context of this verse may have to do with a problem with:

Dishonoring, self seeking behavior, and anger management

When I read the phrase "does not dishonor others," I immediately think about the fifth commandment.  "Honor Father and Mother that it may go well with you."  If things are not going well with you in your relationship with others all evidence points that you either learned as a child that dishonoring others was okay and/or you dishonored your parents and have harboured deep seated resentments toward them.  Your mishandling of relationships can be a great evidence in revealing to you that you don't know "how" to resolve conflict and offenses when they happen to you.  Jesus said, (Lk 17:1)  Offenses MUST come.  Why?  To reveal to us what is in us.  When we are offended - it only reveals that we have not properly addressed our Self-seeking behaviour or our anger.  Anger is nothing more than nursing our deep seated resentments.

When we think we have been hurt by someone in the past, 

we build up defenses to protect ourselves from being hurt in the future. 

So the fearful past causes a fearful future and the past and future become one. 

We cannot love when we feel fear…. 

When we release the fearful past and forgive everyone, 

we will experience total love and oneness with all. 

Gerald G. Jampolsky

The AA Big Book has some very remarkable things to say about resentment. "Resentment is the 'number one' Offender. It destorys more alcoholics than anything else" (AA, 64)  It goes on to say, in the fourth step inventory of resentments, that "this world and its people were often quite wrong. To conclude that others are wrong was as far as most of us got.  The usual outcome was that people continued to wrong us and we stayed sore... We began to see that the world and its people dominated us. In that state, the wrong doing of others, fancied or real, had the power to kill" (AA 66).  Many people spend years grinding over and over the wrongs committed against them.  We often feel compelled to justify our resentment. LOOK closely at your own resentments and see if it is not so.  See if it is not the case that, even in the midst of a well-enjoyed rage over a resented wrong, the 'victory' is short-lived. It is also worth noting that all the effort spent on whether the resentment is justified or not gains us little.  The key to being free of resentments is to stop actively nursing them and instead adopt the posture taught in the 12 steps: "Love and tolerance is our code" (AA 84).  Maybe a lot of our own behavior has it's roots in our own addictions needing yet to be recognized and addressed.  It maybe also be the direct result of being in a family system of addiction whether alcohol, prescription drugs, food, workacoholism, religious addiction, etc. But the evidence of our own recovery from sin, addiction and pre-occupation of self begins with understanding that Christ forgave us and we should forgive others as he did us.

Forgiveness does not change the past,

but it does enlarge the future.

Paul Boese