What To do About Anger!

      Ask yourself, "How would the quality of your life improve if you used your anger in safe, acceptable ways?"   Anger is an emotion – neither right nor wrong in itself. There is no morality to feelings. Anger can arise from grieving, feeling misunderstood, having a values conflict in relationship, or negoiating your way through a relationship. You can learn positive things to do with your anger!   It's important to try to understand what prompted the feeling.  

Anger is one emotion that people use to respond to threat, stresses or loss. It can be a real threat, stress or loss or a means that we use to make up in our mind. To be human is to be angry some of the time. It is important not to make anger bad. Anger like a hammer can be a tool for destruction or to build something. Anger is a necessary part of being a human being.  

There are many people who try to repress anger because they think that anger is somehow wrong. As a result, We spend a lot of time trying to deal with our anger. We repress it. We channel it. We sublimate it. We let it roll over us. We dream and fantasize about it. We feel ashamed of it, and we talk to friends and psychotherapists about it. But we do not pray it. We do not bring our anger to God, at least not enough. Christians in particular have a hard time bringing anger into their prayer life. They will pull out the whole range of scriptures to defend that anger is inappropiate, like:

Colossians 3:8 - But now  you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.

Colossians 3:21 - Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.

Ecclesiastes 7:9 - Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.

Ephesians 4:26 - In your anger do not sin.  Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry

Ephesians 4:31-32 - Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Hebrews 10:30 - For we know him who said, "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," and again, "The Lord will judge his people."

James 1:19,20 - My dear brothers, take note of this.  Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.

Psalm 30:5 - For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.

Psalm 37:8 - Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret - it leads only to evil.

Psalm 145:8 - The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love.

Romans 12: 19-21 - Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord.  On the contrary:  "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.  In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.  Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Nehemiah 9:17 - They refused to listen and failed to remember the miracles you performed among them.  They became stiff-necked and in their rebellion appointed a leader in order to return to their slavery.  But you are a forgiving God, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love.  Therefore you did not desert them.

Matthew 5:22 - "But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment.  Again, anyone who says to his brother, 'Raca,' is answerable to the Sanhedrin.  But anyone who says, 'You fool!' will be in danger of the fire of hell."

Proverbs 14:17 - A quick-tempered man does foolish things, and a crafty man is hated.

Proverbs 15:1-  A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Proverbs 15:18 - A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel.

Proverbs 16:32 - Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city.

Proverbs 19:11 - A man's wisdom gives him patience, it is to his glory to overlook an offense.

Proverbs 21:19 - Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.

Proverbs 22:24-25 -  Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared.

Proverbs 27:4 - Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy.

Proverbs 29:22 - An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one commits many sins.

    Each of these texts are presented by some as the basis of shutting down an important emotion and to stuff or repress the anger because it is seen as ungodly behavior.  Lets not be confused.  One Third Of the Book Of Psalms is devoted to venting anger.  As we look at the Book of Psalms, we see that anger is an integral part of the prayer life of the psalmist. Anger is a recurring theme -- all kinds of anger: personal, national, political, and even anger toward God. In fact, the anger in the psalms is so strong that it often takes the form of rage. Rage expressed, not repressed. Rage prayed, not excluded from the divine-human relationship. This is a mode of prayer that needs to be revitalized.

   Psalm 109 is a psalm that expresses personal anger.  Psalm 83 is another type of expression of national anger.  Psalm 44 is an expression of anger at God.  In fact, Anger and rage are inseparably a part of us. One who has experienced no anger, no rage, is not human. Such a person has no deep investment in life, no love to protect, no vulnerability. Anger and rage are integral to human being.  There is so much anger in the world. There is the personal anger we feel for someone who has taken advantage of us, who has cheated us, or abused us. There is the national anger we feel for those who have attacked our nation and endangered our people. There is the political anger we feel against those private and public institutions which have exploited us, or ignored or neglected us. And there is the anger we feel toward God Who has mistreated us or, in neglect, has allowed others to mistreat us.

It Is What We Do With Our Anger That Is Important.

• We can use anger to lash out at others and intimidate them.
• We can turn it inward and beat ourselves up.
• We can use it to speak out with firmness increase our self esteem.
• We can use it to correct a situation that is wrong.

All great social movements had their beginning in someone feeling angry. Anger is a powerful tool for social change on a personal and societal level. We can use our anger as a tool for change. When we use anger in a positive way, self esteem increases.Anger is a coping mechanism for dealing with some event that threatens our body, property, self esteem, values of what we hold near and dear or when we don t get our way.

      One cannot always be angry and full of rage, for anger does indeed distract and distort. It can disconnect us from life, as easily as it connects us to life. However, the proper prayer life includes moments of deep anger, as well as times of tranquility and serenity. It includes moments of rage, as well as times of reflection and meditation; moments of sadness, as well as times of joy and praise; moments of depression, as well as times of gratitude and exultation; "To dwell in the house of the Lord forever" together with "For how long, oh Lord, for how long shall the wicked rejoice"; "Every breath shall praise God" together with "Oh God, make them as tumbleweed, as straw before the wind." Psalms, precisely because they flow from the sheer variety of human life, contain the whole range of human emotions, feelings, and awarenesses -- all of them brought before God, all of them incorporated into a full and vital prayer life. One simply alternates, bringing first this and then that feeling before God, turning first this and then that emotion into prayer.

My wife's favorite bible verse is Isaiah 30:15.  It most assuredly is a prescription to help us in times of anger:   "This is what the Almighty LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: You can be saved by returning to me. You can have rest. You can be strong by being quiet and by trusting me."

The important thing we all need to learn about being human is that we need to get the anger out, forgive the trespasses, and learn from the conflicts we all face.