Over the last 30 years I have been a fan of Gail Sheehy's book, "Passages." In this book she outlines the various stages of adult maturity. According to Sheehy, "Going from each development period to the next, we learn new things about ourselves. Everyone goes through these stages at their own learning pace. By the time we have reached the end of a particular stage and it is time to advance to the next phase, we must leave behind certain aspects that will remain unaddressed until a future opportunity presents itself. We can accomplish certain goals, lose them, yet still gain them back as well." Well, recently I have found that death and grieving can give us that opportunity of unaddressed areas that were left behind in other stages of growth. In fact, unfinished business of the past has a way of catching up with you when you least expect it.
I'm now moving into my mid-50's and find myself caught between stagnation vs. significance. Hmmm... let's see. I've traveled in 23 nations, 166 cities, and spoken in some of the world's largest churches, had thousands come to Christ, healed, and touch by the Holy Spirit in both large and small ways. I have hosted, produced, and directed radio and television programs seen around the world in over 500 million homes. I've written books, spoken at conferences and I've served four churches and pastored for 35 years. I have two earned bachelors degrees and two Master's degrees from "real" accredited colleges and seminaries. I have overseen $1.5 million dollars worth of relief and aid goods and services sent abroad and here in the USA. Yet, I don't feel like I've made a dent in life. I have felt stuck, unappreciated, and deeply disturbed at the lack of progress we have made in "restoring" the authentic New Testament church experience outlines in the New Testament. Most international, national, regional, and local ministries are more caught up in their own press, protecting their own turf, and doing "business" as usual at the expense of losing our cultures to "putting on a good show." The unfortunate thing is that the "show" isn't producing results. The big screens, the great music, the dancers on the stage, and smooth motivational talks have done nothing to bring about "revival in the church" or "awakening in the nation." It's just all hype and showmanship. Recently, one intercessor wrote me and described it as a "dog" and "pony" show. Big Whoop! So, what really matters?
"As teenagers we try to discover our individuality. We experiment, doing things our parents are unaccustomed to in order to identify our “self.” Since we don’t look at our family as people who understand us, we join a group of people who do. Some of us may look for a connection with another person, but can cause us to remain dependent on our families financially and emotionally. This group or individual, in turn, become our new family. In time, these groups start to fade and we go back to our actual families." Each of our stories begin and end in our homes! Who we are at home is who we are... we are not called to be "idols"! We are called to be at home with ourselves, our families, our friends and with God!
The Holy Spirit sent Moses into a wilderness for 40 years. He went from prominence to sheep herding. Joseph was thrown out of his house so that he could save his family. Then if you read the true marks of apostleship like being physically beaten, thrown in prison, shipwrecked while planting churches and turning the world upside down all for the sake of loving and serving people- you wonder how Apostle or Bishop so and so got so fixated on getting his credentials to call himself his title including the $30,000 fee and a monthly payment of $500 to the biggest TV guy in the church business network... Because so many people have no self esteem and haven't done the work required to hold the title they buy it or get an honorary label vs allowing the Holy Spirit to work in them the true marks of apostolic ministry. What is a false Apostle? Can I hear somebody say Oh, my? Lol.
I'm really not as cynical as I sound. I believe in the championing the cause of the church. I believe in the local church. I believe in accountability. But, growing up in Christ is tough stuff and requires stamina. It also demands you to address what you don't want to address in yourself - the pain, the trauma, and sin that runs in all of us. ALL have SINNED and fallen short of the glory of GOD (Rm 3:23). Recently, I have really begun to discover how important and much I appreciate the Indian guy at 7-eleven who rings up my coffee in the morning. I love the waitress, Vickie, who serves my crab soup, ice tea, and hot bread for lunch, and the lady come rain or shine helps me unload my trash at the dump. Are they not living up to their potential? Are they stuck at a dead end life? Hell No! They are some of the best examples of servant hood, followers, and authentic leaders I've ever met. Significance can be found in loving ordinary people more than extraordinary crowds and applause at the end of the show. For me I love my home, I love my wife, I love my kids, I love my dogs, I love my church and I love all my friends both present and past for all the contributions, impact and input they've had on my life- especially those who brought me to faith, discipled me, and laid hands on me and sent me out to preach the gospel. I am not in a place of stagnation rather appreciation. Sometimes we just need to stop and appreciate the significance of God's handiwork in our stories. Let's learn to stop and let each other know how much we appreciate each other... and how significant we are all are to each other. My favorite scripture lately has been "While we were YET sinners, Christ died for us." He didn't give his life to insignificance he came to life us up out of our own stagnation.
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