Over the last few year, the whole nation has been severely tested. People have lost jobs, had their homes foreclosed on, and have faced all kinds of life threatening situations. It has become very disillusioning for many people across our nation. Hope has been dashed, people have struggled to hold onto to their faith as they cry out in prayer and often have expressed how they have felt God has left them behind. Such is the story of the Bible. I am not a part of the self-affirmation movement (Word Of Faith). I am not a part of the performance orientation movement (Strive For Success). Lamentations 3:37 says "Who can speak a thing and make it come to pass if God hasn't authorized it?" Left to our own devises, we have an endless capacity for self-absortion and self-deception. I like to think of the trouble we encounter in our lives, whether self-inflicted, devil created, or God-directed, as the teaching moments of our lives. Instead of reaching out to our outer world, when in pain, God's goal is to direct us inward so that we can reclaim our private selves for reflection, reconnection, and spiritual growth. To ignore God's calling in these times of trouble is to live a "Divided Life" - Living a public life not connected to our private inner life is fraudulent and inauthentic. That's why we need testings. To show us exactly where we are in our spiritual journey. Do we really believe that "God IS" and the rewarder of those who diligently seek him? God is What? A deliverer, a healer, a comforter, a refuge in the time of trouble? Or, do I seek comfort in secret additions, alcohol, sex, church, gambling, shopping, and other dysfunctional life choices? God IS? A present help in the time of trouble!
Author Parker Palmer explains in his book, "A Hidden Wholeness," that a dualistic life is the result of "trying to conceal our true identity for fear of being criticized, shunned, or attacked." He says, "We hide our beliefs from those who disagree with us to avoid conflict, challenge, and change." As a result, we stay in settings or relationships that steadily kill off our spiritual nurture. So God allows circumstances to come into our lives to move us to where we should be- unless we refuse to change. Then we just get the pain. In my spiritual journey, I've arrived into a new place in my life. I'm still very committed to being optimistic, a good husband, father, and good leader in a faith community... however, the integration of my faith, values, dreams, and courage is still my life's ambition. I am, like many other boomers (born 1956-1965) committed to personal development, dreaming of achieving a perfectly balanced life, tolerant of egalitarian marriage and leadership. I'm committed to Organic food, leadership, community, and theology. I accept social experiments and refuse to accept my parents ideas of middle age. I am a part of the generation who is going to redefine it for ourselves.
I'm glad I'm not a fundementalist, an infallabilist, or subscribe to inerrant interpretations of scripture. I have a hard time thinking in terms of a God with a multiple personality disorder. I believe in having uncommon dialogues with God in language only understood by Him without having a need for a mood altering experience. I love being human and i want to be fully present in my trouble, in my pain, and the journey through it - God this is hard! This is not me being saddistic... it's me wanting the life experience that enables me to have deeper relationships, a more meaningful story and finding that real reason for being. My problem is I love fleeing from pain and avoiding facing my fears. God help me in my times of trouble. I'm scared to death! That's the truth and i don't need to be confessing "I Think I Can, I think I Can" - like the little engine that thought he could. it's just not me. So rather than just taking refuge in a beer can and having butterflies in my stomack... I'm choosing to say "YES" and I can't wait to read Robert A Schuller's new book, "When your down to nothing, God is up to something." It's a good word in a time of trouble.
